Cavemen Gourmet

For those of you who know what Korean Jap Chae is, this dish is right up your alley.  It doesn’t taste EXACTLY like Jap Chae because I’m not using real starch noodles.   To remain paleo, I use kelp noodles instead of clear glass noodles.  This dish is a great way to add protein and veggies while getting that noodle texture you may crave. As I’ve said before,  for those of you who haven’t tried it yet, kelp noodles look just like clear glass noodles but with the initial texture of seaweed (i.e., slightly rubbery and chewy).  It is made only of kelp (a sea vegetable), salt extracted from brown seaweed, and water.  You could eat it straight from the packaging after washing the noodles under water but I prefer to heat up the noodles and add a variety of sauces.  The great thing about kelp noodles is that they are extremely low in carbohydrates and calories while providing calcium and iron.

This dish is completely flexible and entirely delicious.  Feel free to add different meats, different veggies, etc. Finding paleo substitutes is like hearing a great cover to one of your favorite songs. It’s may not be as good as the original, but it could exceed your expectations in other ways. Like my favorite cover to Hey Jude (hat tip Rebecca).  How can you not love that little Korean boy!?!?

Ingredients
Makes 4 servings
1 pound shrimp
5 oz spinach
4 oz baby bella mushrooms (sliced)
1 cup orange bell pepper (julienned)
1/2 cup slices carrots (julienned)
3 stalks green onions (approximately 1 cup chopped into 1 inch pieces)
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon sesame seeds
3 tablespoon sesame oil
2 tablespoon soy sauce (optional if you are anti soy sauce and 100% paleo)
1/2 tablespoon of Sriracha sauce (optional if you don’t want the spice!)
salt and pepper
2 bags of 12oz kelp noodles

Directions
Fill a large pot with water and boil.  When water is boiling, add the kelp noodles and cook on medium/high heat for 15 minutes.

In a large saute pan, add the sesame oil and shrimp on high heat and stir.  After a couple of minutes when the shrimp gets a light pink color and nearly finished cooking, add the remainder of ingredients (except the sesame seeds) and change heat setting to medium.  Constantly stir the spinach and mushrooms until they have wilted and browned, respectively. Then add the kelp noodles and sesame seeds.  Continually stir for several minutes until the kelp noodles have absorbed the flavors in the saute pan and turn a nice light golden color.

Best served immediately. Enjoy!

Today was one of those days that I just had a bunch of random things in the refrigerator.  Ground pork, swiss chard greens, some peaches and random spices in the kitchen.  Nothing really that exciting but when you put them all together – pretty darn fantastic.  Oh and speaking of fantastic – check out this amazing 2010 CrossFit Games highlights video (hat tip Brook). The song is so unbelievable and a perfect compliment to the video – just like peaches to pork.  This recipe might not help me get a muscle-up or a ring handstand push-up but at least it’s paleo!

Ingredients
Makes 4 patties
Burgers
1 pound ground pork
1/2 tablespoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon ground sage
1/2 tablespoon garlic powder
salt and pepper
2 large leaves of swiss chard

Peach Chutney
1 peach
1/4 cup pineapple chunks
1 teaspoon Sriracha sauce (optional – adds a bit of spicy kick to the chutney)
1 tablespoon orange juice

Directions
For the chutney, dice the peach and pineapple chunks.  In a sauce pan – add the chopped peaches and pineapple on medium heat. After 4-5 minutes of stirring in the pan, add the orange juice and sriracha sauce (this is optional – I’m asian and grew up with this stuff so I add it to nearly everything to get a bit of a spicy kick to my dishes).  After 5 minutes of sauteing, place the chutney in a bowl and set aside.

In a large bowl, hand mix the ground pork with the cumin, sage, garlic powder and salt and pepper.  After the seasonings are thoroughly mixed, make 4 patties.  Place the patties in a hot sautee pan and cook on each side for 4-5 minutes for a medium finish (or less depending on how you like your meat cooked).

While the burgers are cooking, wash and dry your swiss chard. (You can use any leafy green but I happened to have an extra bunch from my weekly CSA).  Once the pork burgers are cooked – add the chutney on top of each burger and use lettuce as the wrap. Best served immediately.  Serve and enjoy!

I used to be a fast food junkie.  I knew fun facts about McDonald’s and Burger King and Taco Bell and Jack in the Box and Arby’s (I could go on and on).  Occasionally I would go to these fast food chain’s websites to check out the latest product offerings. Ok – who am I kidding – I still go fairly often. The latest fast food craze to hit the market was KFC’s Double Down that was introduced on April 12th.  I thought it was a  GENIUS move in fast food marketing. When you think about it – KFC effectively made a ‘healthier’ item by removing the buttery biscuits that accompany many of their sandwiches.  But somehow people think the Double Down is even more gluttonous (great work with the aggressive advertising campaign and close-up pictures I must say). This positive buzz encouraged KFC to extend the sandwich on it’s menu as the Double Down offering was scheduled to end on May 23rd – six weeks after their initial launch.  Now for you meat lovers out there, it will be available indefinitely until customers’ interest wane.  If you remove the cheese/sauce – the grilled Double Down is actually a great paleo option with bacon strips flanked by two grilled chicken breasts!

But for those of you who have been missing deliciously battered and buttered fried chicken and find themselves wiping away drool as they drive past KFC – try this paleo recipe.  You can fry the chicken as well, but I thought to make it a bit healthier by baking it in the oven.  The almonds and pistachios give a nice crunch so that you don’t miss the fried batter texture (as much). Enjoy!

Ingredients
Makes 2 servings
5 chicken drumsticks (or whatever chicken parts you prefer)
3/4 cup almond flour
1/2 cup pistachios (finely chopped)
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/2 teaspoon sage
2 eggs
salt
pepper

Directions
Preheat oven to 425 degrees

It’s easier to make an assembly line to make this recipe. The first station is the flour mixture so combine the almond flour, chopped pistachios, paprika, herbs and salt and pepper. The second station is the eggs so scramble the eggs and set aside. Third station is a foil-lined oven tray that you’ll put in the oven.

Take a paper towl and pat dry the chicken (this helps the batter stick better).  Then dip each piece of chicken into the flour mixture first. I find that it keeps the chicken more crispy if you coat with the flour first (versus the egg).  Once each chicken piece has been coated initially, mix the eggs with the remaining flour batter. Re-dip each piece of chicken in the new mixture.  Place on the foil-lined tray. Once you have finished coating all of the chicken, sprinkle any remaining flour mixture on to the chicken.

Bake for 35-40 minutes or until chicken is 165 degrees (as with all of your poultry). Enjoy!

I grew up with an incredible amount of noodle soup so they definitely fall on my list of comfort foods. Being asian – it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary if my family had noodle soup for breakfast, lunch and dinner (and mid-day snacks) on some days. One of the hardest parts for me of sticking to a paleo diet was giving up rice, noodles and every grain derivative in between.  But my paleo food challenge was made easier after I discovered kelp noodles which are made of kelp (a sea vegetable), salt extracted from brown seaweed, and water. They taste a bit rubbery (like seaweed) if you eat them straight from the bag but if you soak them in a broth or sauce for 10-15+ minutes, they will soften nicely (while also absorbing all flavors) and has the same texture of cellophane – clear glass – noodles!

This recipe looks a bit daunting given the long list of ingredients. But I promise – the actual ‘cooking’ is a breeze and the taste is so savory it’s worth it!  This is my favorite paleo recipe so far.  Even my husband, who doesn’t love asian noodle soups, gave it a huge thumbs up and said it was so good he felt like he was cheating on paleo.  I cannot wait to make this for my Vietnamese mother who continues to give me the stink eye when I tell her that the paleo diet doesn’t allow for rice or noodles.  I’ll wait until after she finishes a third bowl of this soup to let her know that it’s a paleo-friendly meal.

Ingredients
Makes 6 servings

Dumplings
1 pound ground pork
1 pound ground shrimp
1 egg
1/2 tablespoon ginger
salt
pepper

Soup broth
4.5 pints of organic chicken broth (72 ounces)
1/2 tablespoon minced ginger
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon dried chopped onion
1 green onion (chopped)
2 teaspoons fish sauce (found in asian grocery markets. Some have sugar but several bottles are just comprised of fish, water and salt)
7 oz coconut water
1/3 cup cilantro (coarsely chopped)
1 tablespoon sesame oil
 1 star anise (Fun Fact – star anise is one of the main ingredients in Tamiflu!)
2 bags of kelp noodles
3 cups of spinach
4 cups of napa cabbage
salt
pepper

Directions
In a large pot, bring the chicken broth to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and add all of the broth ingredients EXCEPT the star anise, kelp noodles, spinach and cabbage.  Stir lightly. After 5 minutes, drop in one star anise. This is my favorite secret ingredient for soup broth and reminds me so much of my childhood. For those of you who aren’t familiar, star anise (aka illicium verum) is a native plant of Asia. My momma always said that star anise helps aid digestion and promotes vitality and vigor in the human system.  It also gives the most savory and complex flavor when added to soups (if you have ever had Vietnamese Pho Noodle soup – it is a star ingredient in that broth as well). Just remember to use sparingly – one star anise will go a long way.  Once all of the other broth ingredients are together, wash your kelp noodles and add to the soup.  Leave on medium heat, stirring occasionally.  

For the dumplings, combine the ground pork and ground shrimp with one egg, minced ginger, salt and pepper.  Hand mix thoroughly.  Take a large spoon and simply scoop out a dumpling size ball and place in the broth. That’s it!  Once you spoon all of the shrimp/pork dumplings and add it to the broth, cover the pot and lower heat to low/medium.  The dumplings will cook fairly quickly but it’s nice to let all of the flavors blend together.  Stir occasionally.

About 5-10 minutes before serving, add the spinach and napa cabbage since they cook instantly in the broth and you want the cabbage to have a little bit of crunch when you eat it.  Feel free to add any vegetables you want – I just happened to have a ton of cabbage and spinach from my CSA’s weekly harvest.  Serve and enjoy!  This could be served immediately or you can freeze the broth and re-heat whenever you want.

I haven’t watched the MTV awards (music or movie) in a very long time. Maybe 5 years, maybe 10?  But I must say, the 2010 MTV Movie Awards was good.  In fact, it was pre-tty, pre-tty, pre-ttyyyy good.  It had an amazing opening with the return of Les Grossman and it also had a scene of Ken Jeong wearing a one-piece leopard man-thong gyrating next to a piano which segued into Tom Cruise holding his own in a dance sequence with J-Lo.  But the best part of the movie awards – hands down – was host Aziz Ansari.  His Taavon impression of reading a magazine with swag made me laugh so hard I thought I gave myself an ulcer. And when I thought he couldn’t get better, Aziz ended the awards show with a hysterical R.Kelly Pied Piper-inspired tribute to Avatar.  I have a feeling MTV will play reruns of the awards show about 4,000 times before summer ends so I would highly encourage you to catch parts of it if you want a good chuckle (or just click on those links).  There’s nothing more memorable to me than a hard laugh …well maybe a really great meal.

Speaking of great meals – try this hearty paleo meatloaf dish. In the meatloaf, I substituted bread crumbs with almond flour.  For those of you missing mashed potatoes – cauliflower will give you the same creamy texture.  It won’t taste starchy like mashed potatoes but we both know it shouldn’t anyways.  I hope you enjoy this recipe half as much as I enjoyed seeing Zach Galifianakis doing the “I don’t know” dance during his Swagga Dance session.

Ingredients
Makes 4 servings

Meatloaf
1lb grass fed ground beef
1/4 cup almond flour
1 egg
1 tablespoon organic tomato paste
1/2 tablespoon apple butter
1 roma tomato (diced)
1/4 cup onion (chopped)
1 tablespoon green onion (finely chopped)
1 tablespoon cilantro (coarsely chopped)
1 tablespoon garlic powder
salt
pepper

Mashed Cauliflower
1 head of cauliflower
4 gloves of garlic (crushed and peeled)
1 tablespoon chopped chives
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

To make the meatloaf – combine all of the meatloaf ingredients together in a large bowl and hand mix thoroughly.  Pour in a greased 1.5 loaf pan and place in oven. Bake for one hour.  Best served immediately.

To make the mashed cauliflower – chop one head of cauliflower into 1-2 inch pieces.  Steam the cauliflower and garlic over boiling water until tender (about 15 minutes). Then – mash the cauliflower and garlic up to the consistency you desire.  I like it creamy so I just place the cauliflower in a small blender until it’s nice and smooth. If you want it with a bit more texture, just mash the tender cauliflower with a fork. Once you’re at the consistency you desire, add in olive oil and chives (with some salt and pepper to taste).  Best served immediately.

Enjoy!

For those of you wanting some protein and not interested in heavy cooking after a workout - this dish should be added to your lineup.  This is one of the easiest recipes ever.  It’s so easy even my caveman husband could cook it.  ABC. Easy as 123. 

Ingredients
Makes 4 servings
5 lbs live mussels
2 cups white wine
4 large shallots, finely chopped
5 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons flat leaf parsley
1 tablespoon thyme

Directions
Rinse mussels under cold water, scrubbing away dirt or strings (beard) on the mussels. Throw out any mussels that are cracked or broken.

In a large pot, combine the wine, shallots, garlic, salt, parsley and thyme on medium heat for five minutes until the shallots soften.  Add mussels and cover the pot, increasing the heat to high.  Mussels cook very quickly so after five minutes, they should be ready.  You will see each of them open up with the mussel meat looking juicy and tender.   Throw out any mussel that does not open up.  Serve immediately and enjoy!

During the 7 week paleo food challenge, I neglected some of my closest friends:  spaghetti carbonara, spaghetti marinara and my ultimate BFF – spaghetti bolognese.

To get that noodle texture fix I was craving, I tried numerous spaghetti squash recipes but none of them felt right and all left me wanting to run to the nearest Mario Batali restaurant to stuff my face with the real deal.  Fortunately, with the magic of the world wide web (thanks Al Gore), I found kelp noodles.  For those of you who haven’t tried it yet, kelp noodles look just like clear glass noodles but with the initial texture of seaweed (i.e., slightly rubbery and chewy).  It is made only of kelp (a sea vegetable), salt extracted from brown seaweed, and water.  You could eat it straight from the packaging after washing the noodles under water but I prefer to heat up the noodles and add a variety of sauces.  The great thing about kelp noodles is that they are extremely low in carbohydrates and calories while providing calcium and iron.

Kelp noodles will never be the perfect substitute for pasta, nor will you see it in the next version of Lady and the Tramp.  But for those wanting the paleo next best thing to spaghetti, I think you’ll really enjoy this dish.

Ingredients
Makes 6 servings
2 bags of kelp noodles
1 pound ground beef
1 large onion – chopped
1 tablespoon minced garlic
2 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1 15 oz can of organic tomato sauce
1/4 cup fresh parsley – chopped
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/4 teaspoon of red pepper flakes
Salt
Pepper

Directions
In a dutch oven (insert joke here), saute the garlic, parsley and onion in extra virgin olive oil and stir on high heat until nicely golden.  Add the ground beef, salt and pepper, and cook on high heat. Make sure to constantly stir the meat so it breaks nicely and you don’t have large chunks of meat.  We’re making bolognese sauce here – not meatballs.

Once the ground beef is nice and brown, add the tomato sauce, parsley, oregano, rosemary and red pepper flakes.  Stir the mixture so that all of the ground beef and tomato sauce are evenly mixed.  Taste and correct seasonings (add salt and/or pepper if needed).  Lower heat and let simmer for an hour. (This is usually when I just put the dutch oven in a slow cooker on low heat, run out the door to grab a CrossFit WOD, and come back to a nice warm meal).

After an hour, the bolognese sauce should be meaty and delicious with a slightly sweet taste from the sauteed onions and have a little kick from the red pepper flakes.  Open 2 bags of kelp noodles and quickly rinse with water. Add the noodles into the meat sauce and stir until the noodles are evenly coated.  Allow for the noodles to absorb the sauce for 15 minutes on low heat.  Best served hot and immediately.  For those Lacto-Paleos out there, feel free to top with grated Parmesan or Romano cheese.

Enjoy!